Its all in a name..
I am so worn out, internal conflict and feeling lost was becoming normal to me.. at this point anything was worth a try. Finding my Hex Cavelli alter ego happened while I was playing a game with a friend we were deciding our vilian names (as you do) and up came some variation of Hex Cavelli and somewhere a seed was planted.
Searching for a Creative Alter Ego
I have never credited myself with an amazing memory, but for some reason this name stuck. It kept popping up and in my mind a personality was forming around this name, Hex Cavelli. I was exploring alter egos after a talk by Alexa Clay and, for some reason, a link was made to one of the X-Men that I have started to relate to more and more. Now, as a disclaimer, in so many ways I am not at all like Jean Grey but when it comes to creativity and my journey with it I would find it hard to explain it without using her and the Phoenix as an example.
Unused Creativity
After, or possibly during university, fear manifested itself as blockades in my mind, trapping my creativity under a blanket of judgement.
“Unused creativity .. metastasize and turns into dangerous things.” - Brene Brown
.. it started to feel that way.. So i'll be damned if I am going to let it die or warp, destroy itself, me and everything important to me. Without fear of failure, and using which ever tools and mind sets I need to nurture and process this side of me, the journey has begun.